Oscar Party Drinking Game

Every year, members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (we didn't know rebooting 21 Jump Street was a "science" either) vote on the big screen's best and brightest stars.

So here's how to make watching Hollywood's self-congratulatory orgy of backslapping a little more bearable with these boozy rules of viewing.

Take a Sip

• Anytime someone says "Brett Ratner," "Slur" or "Eddie Murphy"
• If Angelina Jolie's lips look thicker than her collarbone
• For every Darth Vader reference in James Earl Jones' honorary award presentation
• If anyone in your party says, "Jennifer Lopez is a presenter?"

Finish Your Drink

• If Billy Crystal says, "Darling" or "You look marvelous!"
• Anytime Cirque Du Soleil's performance "totally changes your perception of the capabilities of the human body, bro."
• Michael Douglas dies

Smash Yourself in the Face With a Bottle

• If presenters Tina Fey, Will Ferrell, Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog take the stage together. Life will never get any better anyway!

The 84th Academy Awards; Feb 26; Begins at 7:00PM on ABC; Red Carpet coverage starts at 1:30PM